Round 12

Tartars v Nomads

Crusaders v Gap Ramblers

Round 11

Saracens v Centaurs

Round 10

Crusaders v Tartars

Round 10

Templars v. Scorpions

Colts v Optimists

Round 9

Infidels v. Scorpions

Colts v LSW

Round 8

Infidels v. Pakistan
Association

Round 10 - 25th November2001

Templars v. Scorpions at HKCC
Result: Templars lost by 6 runs

no report received.

At HKCC: Scorpions 209-9 (W Ganesh 43; M Zubair 4-58,T Bukhari 3-59) beat Templars 203 by 6 runs

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Colts v. Optimists at KCC
Result: Colts lost by 187 runs

no report received.

At KCC: Optimists 328-4 (Watkins 133*, A Booth 78) beat KCC Colts 141 (D Deller 4-35) by 187 runs

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Round 9 - 18th November2001

Infidels v. Scorpions at KCC
Result: Infidels won by 174 runs

Match Report 1

The Prequel....

My dictionary defines a strawberry as a low growing plant that bears juicy red fruit. That is not good enough for me. I went to my dictionary not for a definition but for a name. Tired I am of the barrage of questions from KCC people who say to me urgently.....Who is this Strawberry?

My dictionary failed me. ......a low growing plant ..........indeed.....

So.....what did I do? What would you do? Of course you wouldn't but I did.

With the help of Elfin Silly at The SCMP I ran a competition to 'name the strawb'. Elfin is good like that. He loves us. Here were the 5 winning entries:

Strawberry Bin Drinking
Strawberry Bin Naughty
Strawberry Bin Arrested
Strawberry Bin Convicted
Strawberry Bin Jailed

One of the more peculiar entries came from a member of HKCC. The guy calls himself P. Phillips reckons The Strawb's name is P. Phillips. What a silly name and didn't I bin that entry quick smart.......... 'P. Phillips indeed' I said.

On the subject of names. Don has two. Don went to Coventry for a couple of years for family reasons ( let's say Family A). When he left he wisely took out absentee m/ship. When he returned ( only guessing but most probably to catch up with Family B ) I spotted him at The KCC and I said "Don ( foolishly thinking that Don was his name ) do you fancy a game of cricket " "Most certainly, he said , " but I will have to reactivate my membership ". This should not be a problem.... But oh yes it was......

" There has never been a member called Don Mohammed " came the call from accounts. I panicked. How can this be? I gently approached Don and said "Legend what the hell is going on?". I brought Don up to speed on the problem and he did the old sums and 2 and 2 made 4 ( 2 is his favourite number i think ). "Oh I remember now. I had a different name then. "

While I was picking myself up my mind raced to a lesson a few days earlier where I said to Cyclops Lai of 3A..... "Cyclops What is the capital of France?" Cyclops said.... " Mr. Green I am changed my names to 'always' sir ".

Forever the english teacher I said to him.... ' Cyclops that is not a name it is an adverb '

The point is this type of experience should prepare me for whatever surprises Don can spring on me but I was still stopped in my tracks.

"Run that by me again Donny" I said.

"When I was here before my name was Taj Mahal."

I thought about telling him that that was not a name but rather a tomb built by a sad man to honour the memory of his dead wife but I didn't. I just said.... "So Taj are you right for next Sunday?"'

It is an absolute joy to be in charge of The Infidels and what is more joyous is that we saddle up to The Scorps next week. To accommodate the crowds that must surely flock to catch a glimpse of The Don The Taj The Strawb et al.... I have requested that the stands from The HK sixes be kept for an extra week. Maybe even P. Phillips will be there. It is only 10 more sleeps. Which is great news if you are an eagle.

Match Report 2

Who was Tennyson referring to when he wrote this lovely poem ?

He clasps the crag with crooked hands
close to the sun in lonely lands
ringed with the azure world he stands
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls
He watches from his mountain walls
and like a thunderbolt he falls

Alfred Lord was on about The Eagle. Whether or not it was our eagle I cannot say because Alfred Lord is in the ground but I am happy to hazard a guess. Tennyson would love Eamesy. Not as much as Sarah Loren Rachel Lucy or me but he would love him.

By golly he played a good one this time. We were up against The Scoprs and we love them but my my my didn't we put them to the sword in this particular fixture.

Don had to be overlooked due to a procedural problem which he assures me is a formality but which seems to have raised the eyebrows of a few in the corridors of power. We batted first on the new wicket and were looking decidedly unsteady. Green was out to The Jet Li and he was pissed off. It later came to pass that a vote of no confidence in this man was to be considered and you will have to stay tuned to see whether he is considered worthy of the spot. He has offered to continue reporting for you even if the coup goes through.

Eames and Ravs steadied the ship and after 17 we were of the mind of 180 - 240 . After the drink they were sound as sound and moving on but there was no murmur of what was to come. Ravi went after a terrific parntership that got us back on the track and with batting to come it had come back to a fifty fifty thing. Toby is 'The Substance' and I promise you that I did not ask him to but he must surely have taken with him something that makes a cricket ball completely foreign to the hands of a scorpion.

Toby made 77 and it was good. Toby The Substance was dropped 9 times in his first 20 runs. He could also have been run out in this time. They put on a zillion in the time it takes for Shiroy to monster a shish kebab and before you knew it we had 315.

Come and watch the Eagle bat for goodness sake. He was The eagle and he is The eagle and forever will he be my eagle. Oh for goodness sakes he pulled us out of the shit again but this one was a little bit better than the last one and how long can we leave it all up to him because the substance will not be dropped so often again. Eagle made 163. I don't know The Jet very well but I have to give him a mention for knocking over a beer after what could only be described as a forgettable day in the field.

315 gave me cause for comfort over dinner but with 3 of The HK sixes amongst the top 4 we knew that carnage was around the corner if we were not on our mettle. Oh but on our mettle we were and they were a mountainous 170 odd short.

Imran cut a swathe through them and Waters bamboozeled them. You must realize by now that I am tiring because the thought of Waters Babooozling anybody save for A Parwani is outrageous. We only dropped 3 catches which must surely be the residue of what The Substance left out there. I may have to get him in earlier next time so that the stuff can have time to settle.

Speaking of next time I would urge none of you to be cock-a-hoop because we play The Vags. The Vags have an Amah. The Amah can play. The Amah's have just had a 10% cut in pay. Do you think The Amah will be happy?

----

Remiss it would be to report a match against The Scorps without mention of The Strawberry.

Strawberry had a stonking match. He was man of for my money in The Scorps corner. Took a cracking catch bowled well enough to hold up The Eagle and then launched a huge blow against the seemingly unplayable Waters.

What this has done is it has upped the ante on his transfer fee. The tongues are wagging at KCC and the word is ' we want Strawb '. Strawb is keen but his manageress is being a little difficult. Testament to her difficultness is the large bruise on The Strawbs neck....mmmm....

I have spoken with The KCC accountant and despite some hiccups with the new building he believes we can find the cash to get The Strawb. It may mean that Phase 2 of the redevelopment is put back up to 5 years but this doesn't worry me as I won't be here. I am pushing to get him before the curtain falls on the current season. I want him and I want him for life. This will be my legacy to you all. I will leave this neck of the woods satisfied that the hallowed turf of Coxes Road will be " Strawberry's field forever ".

At KCC: Infidels 315-6 (M Eames 163*, T White 78) beat Scorpions 141 (I Hodgson 50; I Farcy 5-32) by 174 runs

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KCC Colts v. LSW at Mission Road
Result: Colts lost by 81 runs

The Colts posted a good performance this week against a strong Little Sai Wan outfit at Mission Road which provided much encouragement for the boys.

Skip Correa returning for his first game of the season after an extended period away on holidays and with work elected to bowl after VC Maurice won the toss. Ali and Dinesh started well with an aggressive spell which kept the runs down, however shortly after taking his first wicket Dinesh broke down with a mysterious stomach cramp which may well have been caused by overextending himself at the Diwali celebrations the previous night. Ali was also taken off in the 7th over after straining his arm, but the two openers had done their job well keeping the run rate down below 4 an over and threatening the opening batsman with the new ball.

Azum and Kieren were next to come on and they both stuck immediately, with Zaheer taking a good catch at point off Kieran's bowling and Azum clean bowling Tabarak Dar with a lovely outswinging yorker. This brought the in form I Shah to the crease and he and opener Idress brought the score quickly to 80 for 2 at drinks as they started to attack the Colts first change bowlers. Skip Correa made changes after drinks and brought on the Leg spin of Yorgi and more accuare medium pace of Ifitikar. Yogri too was suffering the effects of Diwali and took some time to warm up before having Shah caught at first slip with a well flighted leg break by Skip. Ifi then struck at the other end with a plumb LBW. This sparked a mini collapse from LSW with Yorhi bowling another batsman around the legs and Iftikar taking a good catch at point. Opening batsman Idress however continued to scrore runs freely and when he was finally dismissed by Yorgi with another catch from the skip at slip he had scored a patient 97. Yorgi finished off the tail and ended with an excellent 6 for 77 his best figures in Sunday cricket to date. All in all a good performance with the ball and in the field restricted LSW to 264 on the flat Mission Road wicket.

Our response sarted well with Skip and Nazam scoring at the required rate of 5 an over until Nazam was dismissed shortly before drinks at 85 for 1 after 17 we were on track to win the game. However LSW then brought on their strike bowler Zubair and he bowled a tight attacking line and sparked a collapse which saw us fall from 110 for 1 to 120 for 8. His spell of 6 for 11 in 3 overs flattered him somewhat as although he bowled straight yorkers, our batsmen handed him their wickets by playing poor shots to a good bowler. Maurice, Dinesh, Azum and Rahul will all prefer to forget the shots they played, while Yorgi and Iftikar were genuinely beated by good balls. Kieren was also beaten by a good ball from Jamsed. Ali and Zaheer put on a stand at the end to bring some respectibility to our score and we were eventually dismissed in the 38th over on 183 with the score again at the required run rate of 4.8. ie we would have won the game if we kept Zubair out and were more disciplined with our batting. Skip Correa with 55 and Ali with 40 were the top scorers.

Overall well done with the ball and more concerntration required with the bat. The difference in the end was 81 runs, but we will make it closer next time!

At Mission Road: LSW 264 (I Idrees 97; Y Mahtani 6-77) beat KCC Colts 183 (A Correa 55, S Ali 40; M Zubair 6-37) by 81 runs

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Round 8 - 4th November2001

Infidels v. Pakistan Assocation at Mission Road
Result: Infidels lost by 7 wkts

I have been sniped.There is no question. I am not a little man but I never thought I was that big. Has the Sniper(s) changed his Modus Operandi? I doubt it. Jerry Collard was hit yesterday and today as well as yours truly , David Arthur was hit. Dave is quite big in that he tips a good number on the scales a bit like myself and we are still to see a little man go down. Therefore I must surmise that in the eye of The Sniper(s) both David and myself are big men. The middle sized HK cricketer cannot count himself as safe. However we are doing this guy a huge favour by only fixturing 2 games on any given Sunday. He is narrowing his vision , cutting costs on travelling and when there is a Sunday where no big men are on the park he is taking aim at the middle man. I also suspect that he is targeting me because I am the only one with the guts to go public. I tell you now Sniper(s) you picked the wrong guy.

I also need to put some men on notice. My guess is that he has used the last few weeks as practise and that the larger stage of The HK sixes is where he will find the audience that he seeks. May I say also that there are a number of big men on this agenda. Sharma , Moody , Julian , Mcdermott , Akram are surely on the menu. Thankfully Phil Glenwright refuses to grace arenas that have grandiose clubhouses otherwise he would be a sitting duck. However he has an amah and his amah is no Lilliputian and therefore should not feel at home.

I am comfortable in saying that Alvin Sallay is safe. Alvin is small enough to enter The KCC in Shiroy's pocket but I suggest that he could well be in on this. The guy has one chip on his small shoulders.

We won the toss and batted. Scanners was leaving everything and left one too many. I was sniped but still have no excuse for such a woeful shot. Roy played like he was due to fail and did. Eagle was so solid and the timing was so sweet. He is not a suspect but the fact that he is a little man must make batting easier. The Pakistanis gave an amazing number of extras which allowed us to keep a good rate. The Eagle fell to a cracking catch. Then followed a number of partnerships that got us to 222. The Candel was central to all of these and measured his innings very well. Oh but what good news I have for the legion of fans that follow The Don. Don can bat. He slapped merrily for 24. Every week he shows me another side to his person. I like 'em all...................

The Doctor and The Barnacle were other significant contributors but I did not well sit over my vegeatable slop ( their home match ) comfortably. I didn't eat any either. We will have to bowl well I thought.

We didn't...............

At Mission Road: Pakistan Association 224-3 (N Hameed 84*, W Imtiaz 74) beat Infidels 222 (M Eames 35, R Sujanani 69; A Haider 4-55) by 7 wkts

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