Round 14 - 29th January 2000

Crusaders v. Gap Ramblers at Mission Road
Result: Crusaders won by 8 runs

No Match Report received.

At Mission Road: Crusaders 209-8 (D Green 121; N Hussain 3-43) beat Gap Ramblers 201-4 (J Collard 51, T Tulley 49) by 8 runs

Saracens v. Tartars at KCC
Result: Saracens won by 48 runs

The Golfing CoC

With veteran bowler Gohel pulled off the fourteenth fairway, Tarts were always going to be a tough obstacle for the Saracens in their inexorable (or is that execrable) march on the Championship. ( Look Yarman is making me write this OK. But I’m not printing the team talk, even if he doesn’t give me the new ball. Wait a minute he doesn’t.)

However we had the honeymooner back and that stupid smile he wears on his face had an even more fixed quality to it. Perhaps it was the thought of a nice long rest playing cricket again. It was however the dreaded Butani who set the rot in with Saracens finest not being able to resist the bait and trying to hit him into the bowling green. Rahul resisted till 91 and then perished in similar fashion. A cameo from Robindranath Gill took us to the dodgy total of 160. Disapointment in the ranks as there is no sight of the wily Gohel and his trademark wickets off ones that nearly pitch on the wicket. Too busy practicing his swing in the outfield. Content to score over a 100 every Saturday now.

But this was the game when the Skip really did listen to his team talk. Someone has to and bowled a superlative spell of 4 for 20. Following on from his destruction of the Pakis a few weeks ago he is anticipating a call from the selectors any day soon. He tells us that after playing for 52 years or thereabouts he is working on his own version of the "doosro." This is the one that spins and will completely baffle any batsman especially ones that have played him before. Ravi, Earl and the Grump all did their bit and a remarkable win was conjured up. Some great catching and the Finesmaster provided comic relief by deflecting one hit straight to him off his chin.

A downside is that a post match report on Nimboo is that he has aggravated his old injury which he got falling on his balls a few months ago.

At KCC: Saracens 164-9 (R Sharma 92) beat Tartars 116-8 (TR Kalyanraman 41, S Lama 33; Y Vachha 4-20) by 48 runs

Round 13 - 22nd January 2000

Crusaders v. HKU at Sandy Bay
Result: Match tied

No Match Report received.

At Sandy Bay: HKU 217-2 (M Sabine 118*, P Glenwright 83) tied with Crusaders 217-6 (R Brewster 97, T Pittman 32)

Saracens v. DBS at DBS
Result: Saracens won by 137 runs

The Flying Finesmaster

There have been some great Saracens moments witnessed by this scribe over the years at this a favourite fixture - DBS at DBS. Who can forget the controversy of the first reserve umpire? Or the last wicket partnership of 90 to lose a cup game. Or playing in the rain accompanied by the non-stop moaning of the Finesmaster.

However glory be. A good day. No rain and Rahul and Rusty Tincan scoring some runs. New glasses working well as he also took a couple of catches at last. A good 200+ total and our debutante Nick being run out first ball batting with the man who makes snails look speedy.

However with two good players in Dar and Adnan Butt the Skippers latest installment of the inspirational team talk "Championship blah blah blah….. Championship blah etc." proved inspirational as the Finesmaster was restored in his rightful position of new ball bowler despite all the efforts of one Shroff who tried to usurp his position. Hah!

Second over, Fines master swoops, dives hurtles to his left feet off the ground to take a stunning return catch. The fact that he was the most surprised man on the park to find the ball in his hand should not detract from the supreme brilliance of his achievement. He is far too modest a man to go on about it so others must. Perhaps a leading contender for Saracens moment of the season. Either that or The Skipper taking a pee and showing us all his hairy ass in the same game.

PC gets rid of Butt and the Finesmaster cleans up Dar and so of course they are taken up and Grumps comes on and takes the usual 5. For once the Saracens leave DBS happily. Mind you doesn’t everyone.

At DBS: Saracens 231-7 (R Sharma 91, T Nimkar 45) beat DBS 94 (R Sharma 5--21) by 137 runs

Tartars v. Witherers at KCC
Result: Tartars lost by 4 wickets

No Match Report received.

At KCC: Witherers 205-6 (Davidson 60, Karnani 44) beat Tartars 202 (Agarwal 41; McDuell 6-35) by 4 wkts

Round 12 - 15th January 2000

Saracens v. Gap Ramblers at KCC
Result: Saracens won by seven wickets

The Man with No Brain

Gap Ramblers come to the KCC
Skippered by the charming Winstanley
They had a bowler called Baine
Proved a gigantic pain
Hit out of the park by Grumpy

Grumpy was batting with calm
Cruising to win. No alarm
Along with the Shroff
A win sure enough
Eruption by the Oz with no charm

Grump hits Mr. Baine for a four
Resultant language foul and most sour
The Grump takes offence
Is this man dense?
Then hits him for 6 6 4 4

Fetch that one says the man
And another one if you can
Winstanley is looking around
As another flies out of the ground
Rahul has made one more fan.

At KCC: Saracens 198-3 (R Sharma 104, B Shroff 56) beat Gap Ramblers 196-7 (J Collard 112, Foster 33; R Sharma 4-39) by seven wickets

Tartars v. Kai Tak at Mission Road
Result: Tartars lost by 173 runs

No Match Report received.

At Mission Road: Kai Tak 234-6 (J Barrington 105, T Patidar 40) beat Tartars 61 (C Williams 3-22, P Kruger 5-39) by 173 runs.

Round 11 - 8th January 2000

Saracens v. HKU at Sandy Bay
Result: Saracens won by 6 runs

The Man in the Iron Lung
Or
How Burji Got His Breath Back

Picking up the kit from the KCC we were surprised to see Jammy the boy wonder waiting for the lift to the ground. "Hasn’t he left us?" asked the puzzled Finesmaster. "Let’s take him. Remember last time we had a puncture on the way and he fixed the tire while you ate your sandwiches and I still remember you didn’t offer me one," Burji responded.

In the car the Finesmaster starts on at Jammy along the lines of "we taught you all you know and now you’re leaving us." "It’s because of that stuff that I am leaving." So we threw him out of the car at the Cross Harbour Tunnel. "Sorry Yarman, we’ve deselected Jammy and we only have 10. More than enough." No reply from the Skipper. However we have Ben back in his specialist fielding role that he has mastered over the years. The Grazing Goat as he is known because of his covering the entire ground trying to cover a myriad of Saracen specialist non fielders.

Rahul never scores runs at HKU and he was out punching the ball. Ravi soon afterwards and Burji rapidly running out of breath from his first run onwards. However stoic partnership between him and Yarman before the latter is out to the first ball bowled by a bloke called Englebert wearing a t-shirt. Quick collapse and a challenging possible 180+ turns to 160ish. Surely not enough at this piddling little ground. Oxygen tanks lined up for Shroff after a masterful 74n.o.

A brilliant horizontal catch by Vijay sets us off and then tight bowling from all concerned and catches taken. Phil Glenwright hits his first ball for 6 and doggedly remains. Last over not many wanted Phil at the crease, PC bowling. A 2 and then one smacked hurtling to the boundary for 6. Not to be. Plucked out of the air by Kirpalani the Cat. Surely his finest cricketing moment since the day he nearly yorked Ritchie Richardson at the Bombay Gymkhana. Saracens squeak by. Championship still on. Or so the Skip keeps telling us.

At Sandy Bay: Saracens 160-5 (B Shroff 74*, Y Vachha 41) beat HKU 154-8 (M Sabine 41, P Glenwright 67) by 6 runs

Crusaders v. Lamma at KCC
Result: Crusaders won by 44 runs

Parading a variety of increasing dimensions and unhealthy bodily functions, both due to excesses of the festive season, the new look, new millennium Crusader’s 2000 team took the field against a very useful Lamma side. Returns from various parts of the world and the reduced commitments to Christmas parties and carol services saw us field one of our strongest sides in past months.

Brad Tarr 'Pits' won the toss (the third lost in a row by the Captain) and put us in, obviously reckoning on being able to chase a score or keep ours down. 'Sheepy', alias the 'Ring Master' alias 'TBBL', alias Dave Woolley and Greenie open the innings and preceeded to put on 149 for the first wicket in 23 overs. The opening salvo from Zubair and the other Lamma bowlers could be described as wayward and resulted in 6 extra overs being bowled. Both Tazzie’s played a variety of shots and Greenie as ever changed his bat five times (once without using it in anger). When Woolley departed for a well struck 53, Lards entered the fray but showed little touch and timing in the initial overs coming back from a finger injury and an excessive amount of turkey, though he managed to still hang around for 23 and a red inker. The Beefster and Brewbags sacrificed to keep the score ticking over while a cameo by Lethers at the end (charging Zubair on five occasions and connecting on most) saw us reach 222 for 4. Perhaps a little short of what we should have scored.

Beefy and the reliable Rabbi openned the bowling with the religious leader obviously in touch with the higher authority in removing 'Third Degree' Burns who played on from one of his slower deliveries. The Rabbi was unlucky not to have Malik picked up at longoff without scoring by the mis-sighted Lethbridge who made a refusal that would not have been out of place at Hickstead. Beef’s opening efforts did prove fruitful in claiming one wicket showing that the days at the physo and the drugs must have done some good. With the introduction of Hyphen and his variety of spear chucking deliveries (the ICC would have no problem with one or two of his balls in identifying a questionable action) he managed by guile and intelligence to remove Malik to a superb catch by Brewbags (who as ever kept wonderfully well for a man of any age) and another unfortunate sole. Beefy was replaced by Toad who, after is initial and obligatory bad first over, bowled as well as seen this season by relaxing and letting it flow. He was unlucky only to pick up one wicket and hopefully will continue his form for the coming weeks.

Apart from Malik only Tarr Pits batted with any form and effectiveness and the innings of Space Station Mir may have achieved 20 odd runs but not without the very odd golf shot. Green was introduced and the annoying nagging buffet bowler did the trick again in getting another victim to commit Hari Kari. Beefy came back and bowled better than his first spell, not a nice prospect in the receding light, and included one on the chin to Zubair. He claimed a further two wickets, one of which Sheepy caught miraculously at third man racing in, but apparently is looking for some business trips for the Little Sai Wan game coming up! Greenie finished off the game with two balls and spent the evening reminding people that he is on a hatrick next game.

Well done guys - good result and won professionally. Thanks again to Sheepy who has been excellent value (in and off field) in the games he has played and all are only sorry that he has to go home (except Greenie who may get his apartment back).

At KCC: Crusaders 222-4 (D Woolley 53, D Green 86) beat Lamma CC 178 (B Tarr 53, S Malik 37; A Baker 3-46, D Green 3-39) by 44 runs

Round 14

Infidels v. Templars at KCC
Result: Templars won by 35 runs

No Match Report received.

At KCC: Templars 275-8 (R Sharma 118, T Nimkar 65) beat Infidels 240 (M Eames 75, N Waters 77*; R Sharma 5-68) by 35 runs

Round 13 - 23rd January 2000

Infidels v. Pakistan Association at Mission Road
Result: Match washed out

Templars v. Colts at KCC
Result: Match postponed until 12th March 2000.

Round 12 - 16th January 2000

Infidels v. Scorpions at KCC
Result: Infidels won by four wickets

No Match Report received.

At KCC: Infidels 289-6 (D Green 121*, R Brewster 73, G Jardine 34; M Lever 3-63) beat Scorpions 287-3 (T Smart 142, M Lever 107) by five wickets

Templars v. Optimists at HKCC
Result: Templars lost by 28 runs

No Match Report received.

At HKCC: Optimists 244 (S Brew 139, Twinings 55; R Sharma 5-73) beat Templars 216 (R Sharma 79, Z Shroff 63; B Morely 4-53) by 28 runs

Round 11 - 9th January 2000

Infidels v. Colts at KCC
Result: Infidels won by 59 runs

Let me start by saying that the Infidels were looking to get off to a good second half of the season and the odds were definitely not in our favour as the Millennium hang over had gone on a record 9 days, especially for Green and Co. The only person to better this has to be Mr Baker whom over the years has managed to turn up to cricket matches hung over more times than he cares or possibly could remember.

So with the determined lacklustre approach that has been dogging the Infidels for the better part of the season we once again set out to achieve a modest target that brought the opposition within striking range. We have actually become quite adept at this subtle tactic of subterfuge. Playing the Colts could have been an absolute disaster as they were quite capable of seizing our lack of drive and could have taken the game.

Mr's Green and Lamsam opened the innings with Steady taking a rest from the best opening pair in Hong Kong. Greeny thought that keeping the partnership intact would have gone against all the ethics of the Infidel Code and his personal motto of "Chop one on to the stumps early so that I can go and have a smoke and a yarn with the Lads". He did exactly that but I must admit with panache. With Damo off the park but soon to return for a delightful knock at square leg, both Roy and Creaky Ray managed to graft a partnership that included some dubious running. Roy was so keen on this style of play that he finished his innings in gold medal fashion falling short of the line by quite some way. Jard's I believe will tell you himself that he is not in good form and managed to score 23 before unfortunately giving a straight forward catch to the most undesirable of opponents. Brad Tarr followed Jard's and he also was waiting for the birth of his first child. Hoping to delay the inevitable Ghee, as he would prefer to be known, scratched around for 39 before being bowled by Uyangoda. The only other innings of note was made by Green No 2 (aka Dave Wooley - I hope he is tuning in from Mystery Island), who in cavalier fashion hobbled between the wickets and imitated a man with an echidna down his trousers. But when on strike his swash buckling style had him carry his bat for an unbeaten 39. Bakes was also able to get past the DT's and cart the ball majestically over the boundary. Beefy's downfall was a superb catch by Michael Wong who ran deep into the outfield to snatch a one handed take of legendary proportions. My comment on this is to not take a bet or trade with Ghee, because as we all saw he not only got close but held onto the damn thing. Here ended the Infidels batting performance at 6-235. Not quite Stella.

Fu began on line and apart from the odd loose ball that finished over the ropes, he managed to snare the first wicket caught behind. We are not aware of who actually took the catch because Ray was putting on some womens underwear at the time the event took place. One can only imagine what runs through the mind of this stalwart of the club. Beefy however managed only two overs before his hamstrings began playing an adagio composed by Todd Johnsen. If you have heard him sing you would understand. With the KCC speed demon scratched from the event the Governor turned to Chris Williams aka Quentin Tarantino. The lad performed with gusto and returned the fine figures of 1-32 off 9 overs. Chris is the only Infidel this season that has improved his performance. Well done. So where were we? Ah yes the ebb and flow of the game. Dytesh Chaudhuri managed to survive a ball that he pulled off his belt buckle and placed into the keepers gloves. The decision from the square leg umpire was not out as it was a no ball. We stood aghast for what was longer than a brief period and Quentin wrote a script that involved a chain saw massacre of the umpire in question. The game continued and the very next ball Chris trapped Rohan Boghani in front for 2. Chris really should use his fingers less as they are known to cause offence.

Lal Jayasinghe and Dytesh both put together a strong partnership and it looked for a while that they may have taken the game to us. With the crowd chanting for the inclusion of Lamsam into the attack I had no choice but to allow him to take over from Brad who managed to impersonate but not quite capture the essence of a bowler. Once again I will put this down to impending fatherhood. Roy did his country proud and broke the key partnership of Lal and Dytesh. Lal elegantly chipped the ball to Fu who with suprising stealth was able to hang on to a fine catch. Shortly after he was also able to get the prize catch from Dytesh. This about saw the game at an end apart from the short cameos played by Lethers and Maurice. In the end the mature outfit of the Infidels were able to step up the pace and coast over the line with what I would place as a not too convincing effort with Infidels winning the game by a margin of 59 runs.Well done to the Colts who seem to be improving with every match. Also well done to the Templars for their victory over the Pakistan Association.

At KCC: Infidels 235-6 (B Tarr 39, D Woolley 39*) beat KCC Colts 176 (D Chaudhuri 46, L Jayasinghe 41; D Green 3-21, Jim Cannell 3-52) by 59 runs

Templars v. Pakistan Association at DBS
Result: Templars won by 25 runs

THE DAY THE VETS SHOWN THROUGH

Panadol...Panadol.....was the first two words the captain heard upon reaching DBS. It was our very own CoC who had obviously had a "big" night out. With messrs. Periera and Malhotra out "tying the knot" the skip had finally been able to convince CoC's buddy in arms, Mr. Yarman Vachha to play against the Pakis. And what a game did the two buddies have. Taking nothing away from Manoj Cher.....who played an outstanding knock. There was some deliberation on what we should do after the toss was won. The vice captain and the skip thought it would probably be good to put them in....but it was Yarman and Bharat who put their foot (or feet) down...more because the CoC did not want to field I guess with a big hangover. In any event the skip demoted himself to number five giving a sulking Sher Lama to show what he was made off. Lama and Manoj responded brilliantly putting on 53 in 10 overs against a renegade attack that consisted of Jamshaid "Jammy" Khan and Faizi Khan. Khalid, who bowled first change, provided the Pakis with the first break through when he had Lama hooking only to be brilliantly caught by Jammy at long leg. TR, Trupti, the skip and Ravi, all scratched around with Trupti not troubling the scorer at all...and skip troubling the scorer with all the dots...probably over 40 of them for a paltry-poor 12 runs...that is, for sure, the end of the skip ever batting at number five again. Manoj had been steadily accumulating his runs that included some stunning cover drives, deft flicks and excellently executed pull shots. He got out playing a rare rash shot across the line to Sada Hussain only to be bowled through the gate. The stage was now set for the two "buddies" to give a tip or two on the art of batting to the others sitting in the pavilion. Yarman and CoC put on a quick 30 in 4 overs with the CoC wrapping up the innings with a flurry of power hitting ending up with 31 n.o. off 20 balls or so, with Jammy being carted into Mong Kok off the very last ball of the innings. It is always good and rather amusing to see "certain" batsman in the side practicing "well left" in the 49th over. Well...we had the runs on the board...231 of them....and the Pakis had to get them.

A usual excellent curry lunch was quickly taken and eleven minus of course the two "buddies" engaged themselves in some fielding and bowling practice.... the buddies meanwhile blew smoke. The result - the buddies between them got 9 wickets and took two absolute bilnding catches! Guess the moral of the story???

Pakistan started in their usual solid manner with Nasir and Gul getting to 125 off the first 26 overs. Ravi and Lama bowled steadily....but it was always going to be the spinners who were going to be the trump card...spinners minus a certain gentleman who "wanted to try something different". Lama provided the first break-through getting Gul caught nicely by Ravi at square-leg. Skip moved the bowling around in desperation...and then Yarman struck. First had Salim Malik caught by the skip at backward square-leg, then three balls later had Wasim Imtiaz brilliantly caught by Bharat at long-on. Next over saw the departure of the well set Nasir with Anurag "I have a real verity" Bhatnagar holding onto a sharp chance at short mid-wicket. With their back gone Sada Hussain and Hashmi prodded along for a couple of overs. Soon Yarman struck again taking a real "blinder", hanging onto an on-drive that Sada did not keep down. Skip rotated the bowling once again, bringing CoC from the other end. The first ball saw Hashmi nicking one to slip that skip judged nicely. Yarman and Bharat bowled to a plan, Bharat with a packed offside field bowled outside the off-stump (always easy for Uncle "B"), and Yarman bowled beautifully to a five four on-side field. Munir Hussain and Jamshaid "Jammy" Khan tried to repair the damage, but Munir soon perished leg-before to Yarman trying once too often to cross-bat a delivery over square leg. From 125 for no loss the Pakis were in tatters at 151 for 7 after 34 overs. That they had 49 overs instead of 50 to score off did not help their cause, with both Yarman and Bharat giving nothing away, saw the over rate gradually creep up from under 4 an over to nearly 7 an over. The other renegade, "Faizi" Shiraz Khan, joined Jammy, but became yet another Yarman victim, stumped brilliantly down the leg-side by Amit Agarwal who was not upto his usual very high standard...dropping a relatively tough (easy for Amit) Jammy nick of Bharat. It was then a matter of time as the Pakis had only the two tail-enders Rafaquat and Khalid left to partner Jammy, who was playing better than ever before. Rafaquat soon perished to a flighted delivery from Yarman, smartly caught by Ravi in the deep. The end came quickly, fittingly it was Yarman (yet again) who clean bowled Jammy as he tried to slog. Yarman...8 for 52 off 14.4 overs of the best controlled offspin this writer has seen in a long long time. Next stop...the KCC Bar where the President obliged the Templars with a couple of bottles of champagne.Thanks Pres. The bowling was well supported with smart fielding, all the catches were well taken, and the bowling plan (I am sure the CoC will say..."plan what plan"?) well executed.

Brilliant team effort against a side that had remained unbeaten in three years (well, since the end of 1998 any way - Ed.).

At DBS: Templars 231-7 (C Manoj 71; K Khan 3-60, S Hussain 3-50) beat Pakistan Association 206 (N Hameed 76, I Gul 41; Y Vachha 8-52) by 25 runs